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[sticky post] Why hello there, Sugar

Welcome to my Livejournal. If you're looking for Aundrea Singer, you've come to the right place. If you'd also like to find me other places, I have a whole mess of links, including where you can find my novels, just a small scroll down to the right.

If you'd like to know more about me, here is my bio at About Me.com. My short fiction is all right here under the here have a story tag. If, on the other hand, you'd prefer to read my fanfic, here it is at Archive of Our Own.

My main blog is Aundrea Singer.com, which I'm planning attempting to update regularly. New short fiction will be crossposted there, as well as the Archive of Our Own.

If you have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment to this post, or contact me via aundreasinger.com.

Thank you!

Say Hello to My Little Friend

It's Hurt/Comfort Bingo (hc_bingo) time again!

Last year's card is here, and I murdered that sucker. It was awesome. :D I don't know if I'll get as many squares this year, but I certainly aim to try (and if I hit, there will be injuries).

Here is my painfully beautiful card for this year:

crucifixion arena Betrayal strapped to a moving vehicle amnesia
isolation surgery loss of hearing Humiliation Loss of Identity
nausea confession in desperate situation WILD CARD Accept Injury to Protect Someone self-harm
eating disorders sex pollen headaches / migraines destruction / natural disasters minor illness or injury
serial killers assault phobias learning to be loved Combat


As you can see, I've already filled a square. Misery for the win. :D
Written for the prompt Temperance at wordsinthebrain.

There wasn’t much blood on it, but it wasn’t the sort of stain one could explain to the cleaners.Collapse )




This story also fills the Dub-Con square of my hc_bingo card, though more in its absence than presence. And hey, it's happy! Happyish! Not terrible!

Aiden's Angel is a Bestseller!

Hey, everyone!

Here I am at the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention in Las Vegas, and I haven't been outside since Sunday evening! I'm anticipating returning to Texas exhausted, pale and squinting. It'll be great.

While I'm here, Dreamspinner Press has been selling Aiden's Angel for $1.00. (Here it is on Amazon.) I volunteered for this in the hopes it might mean that people would actually know the book existed.

Apparently it worked, because I just got an email from All Romance EBooks saying it hit their bestseller's list. :D I am very, very happy.

It'll be on sale until sometime on the 17th, in case any of you would like to read about magic, angst and angels for less than a cup of Starbucks coffee to go with it.

I'll be back online for reals starting Monday. Right now I need to eat something before the next event. I'm thinking a ridiculous Las Vegas buffet might be in order.

Angel

Happy Brithday, Brumeier!

Today, I am pleased to inform all and sundry, is the Beautiful brumeier's birthday! In honor of this auspicious event, I have forced cajoled bribed threatened been lucky enough to elicit Rodney McKay's help in creating a music mix for her. You can see how thrilled he is.

McKay the Grumpy Astronaut

Happy birthday, sweetheart! I hope you have a great day!

And Yet

So, Empire Online posted this thing about how Captain America: Civil War is a love story but Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are not boyfriends (Which I found out via this Tumblr post originally by YouNeedToStrut). For those of you who aren't into links, the Empire post by Phil De Semlyen talks about how director Joe Russo refers to Civil War as a brotherly love story, saying:

"These are two guys who grew up together, and so they have that same emotional connection to each other as brothers would, and even more so because Bucky was all Steve had growing up."

Now, I made my own post about that whole 'Brotherly' thing back in February, generally going on the assumption that the Russos were madly trying to avoid a mass homosexual freakout. And then Sebastian Stan said this:

"I think it’s easy and generalising [sic] it to say that they’re lovers, when you’re forgetting that one has a lot of guilt because he swore to be the protector of the other, the father figure or older brother so to speak, and then left him behind." Adds the actor: "I have no qualms with it but I think people like to see it much more as a love story than it actually is. It's brotherhood to me."

Here's the thing. He's not wrong, and the Tumblr post I mentioned above has some thoughtful discussions on that fact. I know for myself that even way back in my Star Trek: Enterprise fandom days, I would occasionally wonder if we slashers were devaluing male friendship by interpreting the male characters' chemistry as romantic so much of the time. And I'm certainly aware that friends can love each other platonically.

And yet, I'm just so freaking disappointed.

It doesn't matter to me that the Russos' Word of God is that Bucket and Steeb are only friends. I'm used to creators overlooking or blindly ignoring aspects of their own work, especially when it veers towards territory they're uncomfortable with. Given what I've seen of Disney properties, it seems reasonable that even if the Russos were all over the Stucky like Red on Johann Schmidt, the mouse paying them would never, ever go for it.

But this is Sebastian Stan, who has played gay characters before and is actually playing Steve's long-lost whatever now. And if the actual actor who made Bucky Barnes live for us says Bucky and Steve are bros, not lovers, then...Then it's true. Then my wanting to see their relationship as anything other than that feels wrong. Illegitimate. Not a reinterpretation of canon, but a desperate scrabbling for something that never existed.

It's weird. I shipped Danny Williams and Steve McGarrett even when Hawaii 5-0 kept throwing women at Steve like spaghetti at a wall. In Stargate: Atlantis, I happily wrote around the cannon Rodney McKay/Jennifer Keller relationship to keep him with John Sheppard. I love Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton shacking up even though they were both with other people in Age of Ultron (then again, I ignore a lot of things about Age of Ultron). But Sebastian Stan calls No Homo and suddenly I feel like a kid sneaking porn.

I wanted his approval, damn it. Not for me or my fic, because that's pathetic and creepy. But for the possibility that went into the fic. I wanted him to say, 'sure, that's cool,' and instead I got condemnation.

Maybe it is overly facile to see romance where there's only deep affection. Maybe we (female) writers are just picking out nonexistent subtext for all the same varied reasons we enjoy slash in general. Maybe we're just seeing what's not intended to be there, because we've been trained to (I urge you to read this brilliant essay on that subject). Maybe an actor's opinion about the character he plays shouldn't carry more weight than my own, but it feels heavier all the same.

This issue is that, as a writer who also writes fanfic, I'm always fighting the sense that my hobby is illicit; that I'm furtively dabbling where I don't belong. Allowing myself to do what I do is hard enough, without the knowledge that one of the actors who inspired it wouldn't accept my perception of his work. The fancy of tacit approval, no matter how spurious, is far more liberating than the certainty of its opposite. And honestly, I was expecting the guy who made his career playing troubled, gay sons to not reject the thought of a gay romance out of hand. Maybe seeing a romance in every love story is generalizing and easy, but that didn't mean he had to make it difficult.

The two seconds of the film wherein Bucky is happy

A little vitriol for a Friday afternoon.

Hello, my beauties, and Happy Friday! Monday the March Break officially begins and I will be going to Canada with my kid to visit the fam. It should be awesome.

While I readily admit that I, too, can be at times almost as awesome as a trip to Canada to visit the fam, I am, as I'm fairly sure you're aware, human and therefore extremely fallible. Occasionally more fallible than your average bear, so to speak. There have been times, I admit, when the only thing keeping my mouth shut or my fingers still is the fact that I don't like hurting peoples' feelings. I am a big adherent to the rule that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all (or just hit the back button). I've also gotten pretty good at keeping things to myself.

All that typed, between you and me there have been many, many times with I've just wished I could, for example, leave a comment on someone's fic or their post that completely represented what I was thinking. Now, I would never actually do that (see above). I'm not generally a mean person and life is too short not to be nice.

But. And I hope I'm not alone in this, but. That hasn't stopped me from compiling a list of things I could say, but have and will not. I've included it here, because I can.

I hope some of you might unleash your baser selves and contribute in the comments, bearing in mind that this is nothing but venting, not aimed at anyone. Just devilish self-indulgence that I won't partake in out loud again.

I just think that we're entitled to what we feel, and allowed to feel things even if they're bad. The point is not to inflict those feelings on anyone else. Which is why they're under a cut.

But if you'd like to join me, there's plenty of room on the dark side. And we have cookies.
Mind the gap.Collapse )
Thank you for your forbearance and understanding. Now I'm going to take a shower.
I'm not apologizing to Demi Lovato, because I'm linking to the really cool video I stole the chorus from.

Let me say, O best-beloveds, that there is nothing at all wrong with giving compliments. I used to not do it very often, because it felt safer to keep things to myself than to court the potential embarrassment of engaging in a possibly unwelcome interaction. But then I got older and I decided that life is too short not to tell someone that you like their shirt or that they have beautiful eyes.

Last night I sent a message to someone I know on Tumblr just to say I really liked their posts, and I made them really, really happy. That made me happy too. Being nice is almost always a win-win.

I've mentioned before about how I leave kudos on AO3 for fics if I read them the entire way through, because someone went to the effort of writing the story. A kudo is a quick way of complimenting them for that effort. Clicking it says 'hey, I liked this. You did good.' Nice comments are even better, but a kudo is so easy it astonishes me that so many people don't leave them.

The last time I posted about leaving kudos (the link above), someone replied that they only give a kudo when something really moved them. Otherwise they thought that the hits alone were enough acknowledgement of the writer's effort.

I've honestly been thinking about that on and off for two years, and I still have a problem with it. While I can understand the principal--be happy anyone bothered looking at your fic--all that hits actually show you is that someone went to that page. Maybe they noped out after reading the tags. Maybe they got three paragraphs in and hit the back button in a panic. It's impossible to tell. But a kudo means that they both read the story and thought it was good, or good enough. And seriously, we're writing this stuff for free, here. Isn't a story that keeps you reading until the end automatically good enough for a lousy click on a burgundy button?

I know that some people like certain stories so much they read them several times, and unfortunately (or fortunately, I suppose) you can only leave kudos once. But there are loads of readers out there who don't bother leaving them in the first place. Not one little compliment saying that they appreciate your time and effort.

And that, honestly, is just mean. Sure, no one forces a writer to put their stuff out there, just as no one pays us. But that's also the point. We don't have to do it. That fic you rolled your eyes at but still gave you ten minute's worth of entertainment is completely, totally free. Our only expectation as writers is that people will read our work, and our only hope is that they'll let us know they did.

So, why should anyone think they deserve a masterpiece before leaving a kudo? It's one click. One tiny, easy little click. But I can tell you as both a writer and reader that one tiny, easy little click can actually mean the world.

And life is too short not to say something nice.
This was written for wordsinthebrain. The prompt was 'Invasion'. The Train isn't my idea, and was used with the creator's permission (you can check out the other passengers via the 'the Train' tag at the community).

2232 words; warnings for heavily implied death and violence. Hover over the French words for a translation.

Cliff wants to ask what the hell’s waiting for him at his stop, that the kid’s still this fucking scared. You don’t ask, though. Not in this car. Maybe the other passengers do, but in this car they know better.Collapse )

Betaed by the lovely, talented and extremely generous brumeier, considering I make her cry all the time.

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