That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Yeah.
Anyway, I have news! I think! I think I have news about all those emails intended for someone else with my name that I've been getting for years.
True story, O Best-Beloveds. I think I may have actually found the mystery person.
You see, after getting yet one more email intended for this other woman (this one was a confirmation of a new user account at an NYC sports club), I finally snapped.
"What do I have to lose?" I asked myself, though not actually out loud. "It can't really destroy the universe, can it? (Though if it does, I'm calling dibs on being the Dark Matter.)" And I decided to find this person once and for all.
So, taking the clues from the misdirected emails (she lives in New York; she goes to a university that unfortunately had its name Shanghaied by a bar; she was once invited to be a hut ambassador at the Chirpy Ski Resort of God), and knowing that everyone is on Facebook these days, I did a FB search for every account with the same first and last name as I do and information that fit.
And, lo! I found one. She has the right age, right interests (art! Ski pictures!), and started the university with the bar-stolen name at the right time for all the emails.
Taking courage and the possible fate of the universe in hand, I sent her a message via FB. Here's hoping she checks her 'Other' folder (God knows I almost never remember to). Here's also hoping she really is the right name-sharer, and especially that she's the only name-sharer. I'd hate to think I was getting email intended for several different people; one is annoying enough.
But I have a feeling I've found her, because we share the same birthday, as well as the same name. I'm sure it's a sign.