No Whimsy, Sugar (taste_is_sweet) wrote,
No Whimsy, Sugar

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Harry Potter and What the Fuck Book were You Reading?

As you all know, I had a new fantasy book out in November. I posted about it here, with a lovely cover image and the book description. Please do take a moment to check it out if you haven't seen it yet, just because the rest of this will be more relevant if you do. And probably funnier. :) I'll wait.

So far, I've had some terrific reviews and ratings on, and two excellent reviews on And then I got these:

From Goodreads: Okaaaaayyyyyyy so this book was literally everything I didn't expect and never wanted. The entire plot was very nice and the budding romance was beautiful. The instant it started I was like "Ah yes a Beauty and the Beast type of thing...they'll have something going beforehand, but once he changes back....ooooo boy" NOPE. HE JACKED OFF LIZARD DICK, I'm literally having a fit. Then when he changed, it was STILL LIZARD DICK - JUST A DIFFERENT COLOR. aasjhdgfjsahgfjkhsdjkf

My point is - is that this book is geared toward a very specific community of people. Do you like werewolves, dragons, and humans with no sexual boundaries whatsoever? This book is for you.

I really wished that this book was toned down for a more general MM audience, because I literally cannot get over the fact that the MC just jacked off a lizard.
(Two stars.)

And from Amazon: It isn't the best book in the world but it isn't the worst either ... beI was looking for a Harry Potter with a gay characters -ish kinda book and sadly this isn't it. But really good time killer .. (Two stars.)

Don't get me wrong, I am fully aware that everyone is absolutely allowed to have their own opinion. Not everyone is going to love what I write, and getting bitchy about someone else's likes and dislikes is childish and unfair. That said, what the hell books were these people reading?

I mean, did reviewer #1 see the book cover? Did they read any of the character descriptions? Nowhere did I say that Five was actually a lizard. Yes, it was speculated that he was half human and half wyvern (which is like a dragon), but not with any real seriousness. And this is also a world where it's common for people to be mixes of all kinds of things. Five looked like a regular person, except for certain characteristics. And in this world that's an everyday thing. The abnormal part was that no one knew Five's history, including his parentage. Not that he wasn't fully one thing or the other.

And he wasn't a lizard. Really. Not even half a lizard. He did not have a lizard dick. He had a dick. A rather nice one. I wonder if this person would have problems with vampire dicks too?

And reviewer #2: Did they even read the blurb? What about Tarquin being Mage of the Realm said 'HP fanfiction' to them? I'm glad they found the novel mildly amusing anyway, but seriously, what made them think that was what I'd written?

But hey, if you want a Harry Potter knockoff with no lizard dick, don't read Blood for Magic. Apparently. You have been warned.
Tags: adventures in publishing, aundrea singer, blood for magic, fantasy, fear and loathing, please explain, rants, reviews, whoa
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